SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man in his late 40s recently opened up about the emotional weight of being the family’s go-to problem solver, provider, and safety net. Between supporting his elderly parents, being the sole breadwinner at home and occasionally helping relatives through tough times, he says the responsibilities never seem to stop piling up.
While he considers it a privilege to care for the people he loves, he admitted that constantly being the one others lean on can feel exhausting.
“I don’t blame anyone,” he wrote. “The people around me are generally appreciative. My wife especially. Her understanding, her care, her warmth. Everything about her makes life easier for me. She is still my biggest source of strength and happiness. But, but. Sometimes the responsibilities feel so, so heavy.”
“Sometimes it feels like responsibility compounds. The more reliable you are, the more people naturally turn to you when things go wrong. You become the dependable one. The stable one. The person who figures things out. And after a while, you realise that there aren’t many people carrying you.”
He then shared that his parents, both in their 70s, don’t really have “meaningful retirement savings.”
“I cover their expenses and utilities,” he said. “I sometimes feel what I give isn’t enough, but I try to do more whenever I can.”
His wife, he added, has also not worked for years because of her “health issues,” though he stressed that he has never wanted her to feel pressured to return to work for financial reasons.
“She hasn’t worked for a long time, and I don’t think she needs to. We can manage on my income, and the last thing I want is for her to feel pressured to return to work because of money,” he said.
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