Workplace trauma: Why bad experiences at work can linger – and how to manage and recover

“But in the same breath as her praises, she would insult my colleagues and me in the name of ‘having high standards’ and ‘coaching’,” the 32-year-old said. “I was yelled at for things like a full trash bin and using the wrong words in a meeting.”

He said several colleagues resigned within months, eventually leaving him as the last team member and taking on more of the workload.

Matthew, who took pride in his work, began believing what his manager said about him. During lunch, he would sometimes chain-smoke and cry at a void deck near his workplace before returning to work.

“I felt like I always needed to be on my toes because I’ve no idea when she’d explode again,” he said. “I also felt worthless because I believed her insults.”

THE NEED TO SEEK EXTERNAL HELP

Matthew resigned from the role after slightly more than a year. But while leaving can remove someone from the immediate source of their distress, it does not necessarily make its effects disappear.

Almost five years later, he said his mental health has improved considerably, yet when difficulties arise in his current job, he sometimes gets flashbacks of his time in his previous role. 

Similarly, six years after she left her previous role, Hana, who is now in a different department at the same workplace, said that unexpectedly encountering her former colleague can cause her to be breathless and her palms to sweat. 

“In such circumstances, people must find a safe space to process their emotions without work-related consequences or fear of judgment,” Didwania said. “This can come in the form of close friends, family members or therapy.”

“Therapy can serve a particular purpose because it provides an external perspective,” she added. “It can also help people rebuild their sense of identity and confidence and work out their values and boundaries – especially if they’re figuring out other professional options.”

For Matthew, seeking professional help “was the best thing I could’ve done back then – and it frankly saved my life”.