Indonesian woman who came to Singapore on MOE scholarship says the hardest part was feeling like she didn’t belong

However, the downside of moving away is almost never discussed, added the content creator.

“Nobody talks about the part where you are crying almost every night because you miss your family. Nobody talks about the part where other kids could go home to their parents, get tuition, get emotional support, (while) we are left alone to figure everything out with very limited resources,” she said.

She also talked about having been a top student in Indonesia, but when she got to Singapore, she “suddenly became average.”

Ms Gumala was surprised to discover she had poor English skills and her accent was misunderstood by others, and for the first time in her life, she felt “super mediocre.”

But this wasn’t even the hardest part; rather, it was the feeling that she didn’t belong. 

She said that in the first decade of her life in Singapore, she spent time primarily with her countrymen, as they were the only ones who made her feel understood.

This was her experience as a student in her teens, but for working adults, the situation is even more difficult, as so much depends on their employer, including their visa and the possibility of staying in Singapore.

And while Ms Gumala said she understands the appeal of “kabur aja dulu,” she added: “At the end of the day, whether we stay or leave, we are all just trying to make the best out of the cards we’ve been dealt with because leaving home is never just leaving home.” /TISG

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