Giving Is Good For You

• People who give social support have better blood pressure, hearing, and sleep (Brown et al., 2005).
• Older volunteers who volunteered with two or more organizations were 63% less likely to die over a five-year study period (Oman et al., 1999).
• Patients with end-stage renal disease who gave support to friends and family lived longer than those who only received support (McClellan et al., 1993).

Even toddlers are naturally generous. Children as young as twelve months will help someone reach a dropped object. Every year my children save peanut butter cups for me in their Halloween bag–and I think they enjoy giving them to me even more than getting them for themselves.

Generosity feels good and is good for us.

When We Don’t Give What We Have

But we’re not always generous. When we believe that we don’t have enough, are rushed for time, or fail to get behind the eyes of others, we are less likely to give. The violinist felt my distress, and took the time to see how she could help alleviate it: She was attuned to me like she was attuned to her instrument.

Too often we are rushing through life trying to accumulate more stuff, feel happier, and avoid discomfort. We look away from people in need, don’t have time to feel, and avoid talking about addiction, illness, poverty, and loss. The result? We give less and miss out on the gifts of giving, connecting, and being of service. We want to give, but we don’t create conditions to support generosity.

4 Conditions to Support Generosity

There are simple, science backed ways to increase your motivation to give.

1. Gratitude. When you recognize that you already have what you need, you are more willing to give what you have. Practice appreciating and savoring the abundance in your life, and you will be more likely to give some of it away.
2. Compassion. People who feel others’ pain are more generous with strangers. Compassion doesn’t mean drowning in pain; it means staying open so that you can do something to help. Rather than looking away when you notice hardship, stay present with it and ask yourself: What do I have to offer here?
3. Awe. Experiences of awe are associated with greater generosity. In one study, people who stood under eucalyptus trees for one minute were more likely to help a stranger who dropped pens than those who looked at a building (Piff et al., 2015). Take time in nature, open your mind to wonder, and notice how when you do, you feel more motivated to give.
4. Interbeing. Generosity is a flow. We’ve all been on both sides of it—receiving help and offering it. When you see it as a flow, you stop holding so tight to things and start circulating goodness.

To paraphrase the Diamond Sutra, a gift should be given without attachment to the giver, the receiver, or the gift itself.

Small Generosity Practices

• Remind yourself of how much you already have, and share a little of it.
• Ask someone how they are, and really listen.
• Step outside and look up at a tree. Just its presence is a gift.
• Give fearlessly of your attention, comfort, and care to someone simply because you can.

When you give freely, you affirm your own abundance.

When you offer compassion, you heal both ways.

When you let generosity flow, you’re practicing wise effort — using your energy in ways that are regenerative, enlivening, and free.