S’pore needs to reset views on marriage, parenthood; new work group to study issues: Indranee

It will build on current efforts while cultivating positive mindsets about marriage and parenthood, working with employers and engaging the whole of society.

Feedback and suggestions will help shape the work group’s recommendations and guide the next phase of marriage and parenthood enhancements, she said.

While it is not about pushing a single “correct” path, Ms Indranee noted that two key mindset shifts are needed to create an environment where deeply personal decisions surrounding marriage and parenthood can be viewed positively, rather than with fear and anxiety.

Individuals who are hesitant to have children often look at parenthood through the lens of what they might lose, like being held back in their careers, the inability to pursue other life goals and the loss of personal freedom, she said.

Those with children or who intend to have them, on the other hand, see parenthood in terms of what they gain, like joy, fulfilment and personal growth.

While finding a life partner, getting married and starting a family are major milestones that take time, energy and change, many Singaporean couples have shown that having a family and careers can co-exist alongside other life goals, Ms Indranee said.

“Ultimately, it is a personal choice. But we need a mindset change to encourage couples to consider a more balanced picture when exercising this choice.”

Another prevailing mindset that surfaced during engagements was the immense pressure couples put on themselves to be the “perfect parent”, she noted.

Ms Indranee said one young doctor felt guilty that he could not spend more time with his son because of his work schedule, and he felt that he was not being a good father. Another young, newly-wed woman was hesitant to have a child as she was not sure if she could provide the best possible resources for her child to succeed in life.

“Wanting more time to spend with your children or providing them with the right resources stems from good intentions. However, in hindsight, many parents reflected that parenthood was not about providing the best for their children or having all the answers from the start,” she said.

Rather, it was about being willing to learn, adapt and grow alongside their children, doing the best they can within their circumstances and relying on community support where possible, she added.

Many parents feel pressure to help their children excel academically for fear that they may not succeed in life, she said. This largely stems from the fear that there is only a narrow gate to success.

These are real anxieties that the Government wants to help address, and the Ministry of Education has made progressive changes over the years to develop multiple pathways for children and reduce over-emphasis on academic results, she added.

These structural reforms will work only if cultural attitudes towards competition and success shift in tandem, Ms Indranee said, adding that society must move away from viewing education in Singapore as a competition, and instead see it as an open highway with many lanes.

To this end, the MOE will start a series of engagements to look at how to mitigate

, including by reducing the stakes of examinations.

The work group will also work with employers to foster family-friendly workplace cultures and practices, which make a big difference to parents, said Ms Indranee.

She cited the example of Mr Edmund Seah, a medical social worker who took two weeks of paternity leave during his daughter’s first month to support his wife’s confinement. He later took the remaining two weeks and three weeks of shared parental leave during the child’s first year.

This flexibility allowed the 31-year-old to be present for his wife and baby when it mattered, she said. He paid it forward by covering his colleague’s workload when she went on maternity leave.

Mr Seah told The Straits Times he was concerned about having enough time for his family, given the demands of his job, and had early conversations with his employer, St Luke’s Hospital, to plan ahead for his leave. 

Having a supportive employer has given him greater peace of mind, he said. 

“I believe that when employees feel supported in important life transitions, they are more committed and willing to contribute meaningfully to their organisations,” he added.

Said Ms Indranee: “The latest TFR figures have not deterred us from our quest to boost marriage and parenthood. If anything, it underscores the urgency of the task before us, and it has made us even more determined to turn things around.

“The Government will redouble its efforts to address this existential challenge.”

Addressing Ms Hany Soh’s (Marsiling-Yew Tee GRC) clarification on the timeline of the work group’s engagements and recommendations, Ms Indranee said some measures could be implemented earlier, while more complex policies could take longer.

“Time is of the essence. It’s an existential issue. We can’t afford to sit back and wait,” she said.

“In this term of government, you can be assured that we will be preoccupied with trying to make sure that we have more Singaporean babies born.”