SINGAPORE – Having witnessed his father beat his mother repeatedly, Marcus (not his real name) swore he would never become an abusive man.
He did not expect to be abused by his wife decades later.
The man, in his 40s, said that his wife hit and lashed out at him, and pressured him to cut off contact with his friends and family for more than a decade.
The couple have since divorced. Marcus said: “It was really torture.”
More cases of spouses being abused
were reported in 2024, with new spousal abuse cases rising 6 per cent to 2,136, from 2,008 in 2023.
The Ministry of Social and Family Development’s (MSF) Domestic Violence Trends Report on Dec 10, 2025, did not provide a breakdown of these cases by gender.
An MSF spokesman said after the report’s release that about 75 per cent of personal protection order applicants between 2021 and 2024 were women. Such orders are given by the court to victims to restrain abusive family members from harming them further.
The spokesman said: “While fewer men sought help, this does not mean that men do not experience abuse. Some may find it harder to recognise or speak about their experiences because of stigma or societal expectations.”
Ms Yasmine Neo, a counsellor at The Other Clinic, said there has been a slow and steady increase in the number of male survivors of family violence coming forward, but the trend is likely under-reported.
“Men are often taught to endure, to be a provider and protector, and not be ‘weak’. Many clients fear being ridiculed, or worry they will automatically be viewed as the perpetrator. As a result, many suffer silently for years,” she said.
The Lutheran Community Care Services (LCCS) supported eight male survivors of family violence in 2025, up from six in 2024, and three each in 2023 and 2022.
Mr Josiah Yeo, a social worker there, said men still find it tough to seek help for fear of being disbelieved. He said: “They tell their friends, but some laugh and say: ‘Who doesn’t have (to endure) suffering from the wife?’”
One of his clients carried around a medical report detailing the injuries he suffered to convince sceptics.
Marcus claimed his ex-wife tracked his movements and mobile phone messages.
She pressured him to cut contact with his friends and family, and would pick fights if he wanted to meet them. He claimed she scratched and slapped him, and threatened to harm herself. He filed for divorce when her verbal and physical abuse towards their two school-going children intensified.
Marcus said: “I had to put a stop to this. I cannot let (my children) go through what I went through.”
He sought help from a social worker.
