He gave up his childhood to care for his brother. Now he has to learn to live without him

“Of course, I was tired. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies that well because the rules were: ‘Take care of your brother, go to school, bring him to school, change his diapers, give him food.'”

But even then, Mr Suresh felt caring for “Seelan” was his duty. The bond between them, he said, “sparked immediately” when his brother was born, and watching his parents care for him made him want to do an even better job himself.

Their parents were divorced and the children lived with their mother. After she died in 2009, Mr Suresh became his brother’s main caregiver, with his responsibilities increasing by “a million per cent”.

“Isn’t it my duty as a sibling to take care of my brother? Isn’t it my duty to take care of the brother that I had all these years?” he said. “Yes, he’s physically challenged. But what a beautiful challenge.”

So when Mr Gunaseelan, 42, died in his arms on Aug 29 after developing a fever and experiencing seizures, Mr Suresh did not feel freed of the responsibilities he had carried for most of his life. Instead, he mourned that he could no longer fulfil them.

“I don’t know how I’m going to handle this in my future … The loneliness of thinking of him, the moments that I spend, every routine … changing his diaper, carrying him to the toilet, showering him, shaving him, brushing his teeth.  

“I didn’t feel tired of it and I will never feel tired of it. In fact, I’m upset that I’m not able to do this duty anymore,” said Mr Suresh, the oldest of three children.