Commentary: Book clubs tend to be attended by women – here’s why I created one for men

The response has been heartening. From just a handful in our first two sessions, we now regularly have around 15 to 20 participants at each session, with both returning and first-time attendees. While our book club is open to all genders as we believe everyone is affected by the issues we talk about, men now outnumber women at our sessions.

What has surprised me most is the free-flowing nature of these conversations. While Zubin and I prepare handouts with discussion prompts for participants, on almost every occasion, the discussion takes on a life of its own after our introductory question to the group. So much for the stereotype that men do not talk about themselves.

The conversation tangents that participants embark on are also varied. In our discussion of the 2025 Booker Prize winner Flesh by David Szalay, some shared their frustrations with the protagonist’s portrayal as an emotionally detached character with monosyllable dialogue.

After a while, one of our middle-aged participants interjected, “As someone who is slightly older and comes from the same era as the character, I can tell you this portrayal is entirely realistic of men of that age.”

The conversation then shifted to talking about intergenerational differences in masculinity, as we shared stories about our older male relatives or friends, and how men are expected to express emotions more openly in this day and age.