From big tech to braids: How a S’pore father went from working for Meta to full-time girl dad

But the thought of missing out on the golden time period in his young children’s lives cemented his decision to quit.

Staying home has also brought Mr Rajendram an unexpected benefit: greater control over his time, something he did not have working in big tech.

In the morning, he attends online Tamil classes to brush up on his mother tongue while his daughters are in pre-school. He also started dabbling in content creation.

“I started formulating my thoughts into content on Instagram, which I found very therapeutic,” said Mr Rajemdram. “It gives me time to reflect, think and then put my thoughts into a script and talk through it.”

In one video, he talks about still being the non-preferred parent despite being the primary caregiver.

“My kids will always want their mum for certain things and that’s a really good thing… so it’s not a competition between me and my wife,” he said.

Instead, he reframes it as a personal challenge, focusing on how he can grow closer to his children.

Mr Rajendram also spends time refining a curriculum he designed, especially for his older daughter.

On top of helping her with reading, writing and mathematics, he incorporates activities like storytelling and expressing emotions to develop what he calls the “three Cs”: critical thinking, creative thinking and emotional connection.

He has even taken on skills he previously never had time for, such as learning from the family’s domestic helper how to tie his daughters’ hair.

In April, he hosted a hair-tying workshop for nine other dads at his condominium unit in Telok Blangah, where they engaged an instructor to learn simple hairstyles such as ponytail, single and twin braids, and twin buns.

Buoyed by the response, he has already set a date in late May for a second session with a new group.

While he loves his current life, the arrangement is not without its challenges. He continues to carry some anxieties he felt when he became a stay-home dad.

“I’d love to do this forever… but a small part of me still thinks about the future,” he said, adding that practical considerations mean he cannot step away from work indefinitely.

He intends to eventually return to full-time work, especially as his children grow up and spend less time at home and the value of his presence in the day diminishes.

Ms Sivamani contrasted her husband’s parenting against her own childhood experience.

“I don’t think my dad has ever even brushed my hair before, you know, it’s unheard of 30 years ago,” she said with a laugh, though she added that this is not a criticism of fathers from her parents’ generation.

“In the older generation, the fathers always played the role of the financial provider and the mothers always played the role of emotional caregiving and tending to the kids,” she said. “So I think it’s really wonderful to see fathers really stepping up.”

She believes the arrangement can only benefit their children’s growth.

“What we always teach our daughters is that there’s no ‘boy thing’ or ‘girl thing’. They can play with cars just as much as boys can play with dolls, and so I think it’s also cool to see fathers do that too.

“You know, they’re the first example for their daughters.”