Commentary: If we are serious about fertility, we must also talk about pregnancy loss

What I did not yet understand was that my body had been keeping score of everything I had refused to feel. The unprocessed grief did not disappear. It waited patiently and surfaced as anxiety, numbness, frustration and restlessness, even on my best days.

Grief cannot be wished away, as I found out. It lives in the body and needs to be felt gently and safely with those who understand. That was the support I could not find so in 2021, I started a support group for those grieving like me.

But I wish for more to be done.

WHAT WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

In February when authorities called for a “marriage and parenthood reset”, Member of Parliament Valerie Lee proposed more support for couples facing setbacks such as miscarriages. Citing examples from other countries, she suggested measures such as dedicated miscarriage recovery leave, automatic referrals for counselling and clear workplace guidelines on pregnancy loss.