FEELING INVISIBLE AMONG FRIENDS
As my friends become homeowners and parents, it often seems like we have less and less to talk about.
Whenever conversations around the brunch table shift to marriage or housing, I feel myself pull back, sitting quieter and smaller, unsure what I can offer to the conversation.
Like me, civil servant Chen Wei Qi said she often feels left out when conversations with her friends seem to revolve around marriage, housing and children.
“I definitely see my attached friends much less,” said the 30-year-old.
Ms Chen added that she feels this shift most when she wants to do things that she and her friends would previously have done together, like running errands or watching a movie.
“Now, thankfully, I’ve come to terms with doing things myself. I don’t and can’t rely on them as much as I did,” said Ms Chen.
Experts said that feeling out of sync with friends is common, and often not a sign that relationships are weakening, but that conversations with these friends no longer reflect your lived reality.
Ms Qhek explained that people regulate their behaviour through feeling understood and included. When that resonance fades, you can feel “invisible” in your circles.
She said it doesn’t mean you are less loved, just that the shared reality that once connected you to the group has changed.
