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Fai began serving his sentence in June last year after being convicted of fraud and sentenced to 10 years and four weeks’ jail.<\/span><\/p>\n He had spent about five years preparing his two children, now aged 17 and 15, for his absence, starting during the COVID-19 pandemic.<\/span><\/p>\n “I tell them daddy is going away for a while. A while means I never tell how long. So I prep them. I tell them what to do,” he said.<\/span><\/p>\n Although his children accepted that he would be leaving, they were curious about why.<\/span><\/p>\n Fai decided to be upfront about his imprisonment rather than tell them a “white lie”, knowing his sentence was too long to conceal the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n “They are 14, 16 that time. I think they should know where I’m going,” he said.<\/span><\/p>\n “Basically, I have no secret with them. I just tell them, my sentence is 10 years, four weeks. Better to let them know. If not they will be asking, ‘Daddy, when are you going out?’ They don’t know when, it will be a question mark to them.”<\/span><\/p>\n Two months before entering prison, he began leaving notes for his children with instructions on doing laundry, choosing detergents and helping their mother with household chores such as vacuuming and cleaning the toilet.<\/span><\/p>\n These were tasks he had typically handled, along with cooking for the family.<\/span><\/p>\n “I’m very close to my family. I always cook for them, wash clothes for them. Everything also I do because I pamper them,” he said.<\/span><\/p>\n By their third video call on Thursday, conversation flowed easily between Fai and his daughter, moving from schoolwork and exam results to the haze and cooking.<\/span><\/p>\n But their first call in May, about three months after he joined Project Hope, had been markedly different.<\/span><\/p>\n His daughter was initially shy and reserved, opening up only after he gradually encouraged her to talk. The months without her father had been difficult, Fai said.<\/span><\/p>\n “We were \u2026 very close. So when I’m not around, she’s a bit sad. There’s no father figure to her.”<\/span><\/p>\n His wife had written to him about their daughter spending too much time on her phone instead of revising her schoolwork.<\/span><\/p>\n Fai believed she was troubled by his absence.<\/span><\/p>\n But after they began connecting through Project Hope, he noticed a marked change. She took his advice and started studying more diligently.<\/span><\/p>\n During Thursday’s call, she shared her recent exam results and told him how she had worked hard and sought help from her older brother in certain subjects.<\/span><\/p>\n Their conversation then turned to the haze. She told him conditions had improved and asked whether he could “see the sky now”.<\/span><\/p>\n They also talked about cooking, something Fai had often done for the family before his imprisonment, preparing dishes ranging from black pepper rice to curry chicken.<\/span><\/p>\n He brought up the macaroni goreng his daughter had written to him about making, though she felt something was missing from the dish.<\/span><\/p>\n His children had tried cooking at home since he left, Fai later told reporters, but the food never quite tasted the same.<\/span><\/p>\n “I think the father’s touch is not there. They miss my cooking.”<\/span><\/p>\n While it is still years until his release, when that day comes, Fai wants to apologise to his children and tell them how much he has missed them.<\/span><\/p>\n “I will talk to them (say) I’m sorry, I miss you all \u2026 I will not leave them again, will not (make) any mistake anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n “Once is enough for my kids to suffer. Enough,” he said.<\/span><\/p>\n He knows he will have missed significant milestones, including his children’s N-Level examinations, but hopes to be present for those still to come.<\/span><\/p>\n “I miss \u2026 their teenager milestones. I don’t want to miss the next milestone.”<\/span><\/p>\n An SPS study that examined family interventions in correctional settings found that such interventions could improve parent-child communication and parenting skills, while reducing parental stress and behavioural problems among children.<\/span><\/p>\n While more research is needed to establish a causal link, the study suggested that such improvements could help reduce reoffending by <\/span>strengthening parenting and family interactions<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\nTHE FIRST VIDEO CALL<\/h2>\n
MORE THAN JUST A CHAT<\/h2>\n
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