{"id":88976,"date":"2026-09-30T05:42:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-29T21:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=88976"},"modified":"2026-09-30T05:42:00","modified_gmt":"2026-09-29T21:42:00","slug":"ask-your-dad-for-permission-singaporean-in-their-30s-sparks-online-discussion-on-strict-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=88976","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;Ask your dad for permission&#8217;: Singaporean in their 30s sparks online discussion on strict parents"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div data-astro-cid-ek653lk3=\"\">\n<p>\n  <noscript>Please enable JavaScript to view ads.<\/noscript>\n<\/p>\n<p>SINGAPORE: A post on r\/<em>askSingapore<\/em> has touched a nerve with anyone who has ever had to decide between filial piety and their own sanity.<\/p>\n<p>The original poster, who was in their 30s, told their mother they were planning to leave a toxic job and switch fields. Their mother\u2019s response: they would need to ask their father for permission before quitting.<\/p>\n<p>They did what they described as \u201cthe pro-Asian kid move\u201d, which was to quit the job and inform their parents much later. Their parents called it disrespect.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-astro-cid-ek653lk3=\"\">\n<p>The original poster pointed out the irony that their parents had done whatever they wanted when they were young. They also mentioned ongoing pressure on their girlfriend to prove herself to the family\u2019s satisfaction.<\/p>\n<p>\n  <noscript>Please enable JavaScript to view ads.<\/noscript>\n<\/p>\n<p>After discussing the situation with close friends, they found the dynamic was not unusual; parents continuing to dictate the choices of adult children, even married ones, is apparently common enough in Singapore to not raise eyebrows.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-astro-cid-ek653lk3=\"\">\n<p>\u201cIs it common for parents here to be controlling of their adult children?\u201d they asked.<\/p>\n<h2>What Reddit said<\/h2>\n<p>The thread confirmed the experience while offering some structural context for why it persists.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCommon, but definitely not normal,\u201d one commenter wrote. \u201cA lot of the time this is because you\u2019re still living at home, [so] they still see you as a child. Asian parenting in particular is very focused on filial piety. A lot of parents have an \u2018I eat more salt than you eat rice\u2019 mindset.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\n  <noscript>Please enable JavaScript to view ads.<\/noscript>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-astro-cid-ek653lk3=\"\">\n<p>Another was more direct about where the dynamic originates: \u201cA lot of it is the children allowing it, tbh. Just do whatever you want, let them be mad until they get used to the idea.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-astro-cid-ek653lk3=\"\">\n<p>One commenter suggested a more charitable interpretation: \u201cMaybe it\u2019s because you still live with them and they think you\u2019re going to use their money. Not saying that you are, but there are still babies in their 30s and 40s living off their parents and partners.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>One offered the same coping strategy the original poster had independently concluded: \u201cLearnt early to just do it and not share, or share much later. Sometimes you see this in your bosses as well.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script type=\"module\">function t(t){return new Promise(e=>{const r=t.split(\"https:\/\/theindependent.sg\/\").pop()?.split(\"?\")[0]||\"\";if(document.querySelector(`script[src*=\"${r}\"]`))return void setTimeout(e,100);const d=document.createElement(\"script\");d.src=t,d.async=!0,d.onload=()=>setTimeout(e,300),d.onerror=()=>e(),document.body.appendChild(d)})}async function e(){const e=document.querySelector(\".independent-article\");if(e){if(function(t){t.querySelectorAll(\".telegram-post-placeholder\").forEach(t=>{const e=t.getAttribute(\"data-telegram-post\"),r=t.getAttribute(\"data-width\")||\"100%\",d=t.getAttribute(\"data-dark\")||\"0\";if(e){const a=document.createElement(\"script\");a.async=!0,a.src=\"https:\/\/telegram.org\/js\/telegram-widget.js?22\",a.setAttribute(\"data-telegram-post\",e),a.setAttribute(\"data-width\",r),\"1\"===d&&a.setAttribute(\"data-dark\",\"1\"),t.parentNode?.replaceChild(a,t)}}),t.querySelectorAll(\"script[data-telegram-post]\").forEach(t=>{const e=t.getAttribute(\"data-telegram-post\"),r=t.getAttribute(\"data-width\")||\"100%\",d=t.getAttribute(\"data-dark\")||\"0\";if(e){const a=document.createElement(\"div\");a.className=\"telegram-embed-wrapper\",t.parentNode?.insertBefore(a,t),t.remove();const i=document.createElement(\"script\");i.async=!0,i.src=\"https:\/\/telegram.org\/js\/telegram-widget.js?22\",i.setAttribute(\"data-telegram-post\",e),i.setAttribute(\"data-width\",r),\"1\"===d&&i.setAttribute(\"data-dark\",\"1\"),a.appendChild(i)}})}(e),e.querySelectorAll(\".twitter-tweet\").length>0){await t(\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\");const r=()=>new Promise(t=>{window.twttr?.widgets?t():window.twttr?window.twttr.ready(()=>t()):setTimeout(t,1e3)});await r(),window.twttr?.widgets&&window.twttr.widgets.load(e)}if(e.querySelectorAll(\".instagram-media\").length>0&&(await t(\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"),window.instgrm?.Embeds&&window.instgrm.Embeds.process(e)),e.querySelectorAll(\".fb-post\").length>0){if(!document.getElementById(\"fb-root\")){const t=document.createElement(\"div\");t.id=\"fb-root\",document.body.appendChild(t)}await t(\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v18.0\"),window.FB?.XFBML&&window.FB.XFBML.parse(e)}e.querySelectorAll(\".tiktok-embed\").length>0&&await t(\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"),e.querySelectorAll(\".reddit-embed\").length>0&&await t(\"https:\/\/embed.reddit.com\/widgets.js\"),e.querySelectorAll('iframe[src*=\"linkedin.com\/embed\"]').forEach(t=>{const e=t.getAttribute(\"src\")||\"\";if(e&&!e.includes(\"urn:li:\")){const r=e.match(\/activity[_-](\\d+)\/);r&&t.setAttribute(\"src\",`https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/embed\/feed\/update\/urn:li:activity:${r[1]}`)}})}}\"loading\"===document.readyState?document.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",e):e(),document.addEventListener(\"astro:page-load\",e);<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><br \/>\n<center><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/theindependent.sg\/ask-your-dad-for-permission-singaporean-in-their-30s-sparks-online-discussion-on-strict-parents\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Read Full Article At Source <\/a><br \/>\n<center\/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Please enable JavaScript to view ads. SINGAPORE: A post on r\/askSingapore has touched a nerve with anyone who has ever had to decide between filial&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88977,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2611],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-88976","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-buzz-headlines","wpcat-2611-id"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=88976"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88976\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/88977"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=88976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=88976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=88976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}