{"id":79055,"date":"2026-08-24T08:37:57","date_gmt":"2026-08-24T00:37:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=79055"},"modified":"2026-08-24T08:37:57","modified_gmt":"2026-08-24T00:37:57","slug":"how-to-navigate-sex-and-intimacy-when-dementia-changes-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=79055","title":{"rendered":"How to navigate sex and intimacy when dementia changes a relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This is the 96th instalment in<\/em> a series on dementia<\/em><\/span>, including the research into its causes and treatment, advice for carers, and stories of hope.<\/em><\/div>\n
A quiet heartbreak is unfolding behind the closed doors of dementia care, one that few carers dare to speak about openly: the ebb of physical intimacy.<\/p>\n
A tentative question posted to an online dementia carer support group sparked a flurry of moving responses. That question: \u201cI really don\u2019t know how to approach this subject, but I\u2019m wondering who is still sexually active<\/span> with a partner who has a dementia<\/span> diagnosis. I\u2019m struggling with this.\u201d<\/div>\n
It is a distressing issue for the hundreds of people who weigh in. In emotional comments, both men and women describe their experiences, challenges and concerns, such as these below:<\/p>\n
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\u201cFor the past two years, we\u2019ve slept in separate bedrooms. I just can\u2019t go there: there is nothing sexy about a man who never showers or shaves and does nothing all day but sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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\u201cI have so many beautiful memories, but today is a very different reality, and I can\u2019t \u2018fake\u2019 it. I tell him my hormones don\u2019t work any more and I can\u2019t do it \u2013 I tell him it is all my problem \u2013 a medical one. I hug him and tell him I am sorry. So far it has worked \u2013 but it breaks my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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\u201cMy wife and I once enjoyed a very active sex life before she presented with [dementia] symptoms. The last time we had sex was a few years ago; she actually initiated it, but during the act, something shifted, her body stiffened visibly, and her expression changed. That was that. For me, consent in my mind was withdrawn and that was the very last time.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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<\/div>Physical intimacy often ebbs in couples where one partner has dementia, but it is rarely spoken about. Photo: Shutterstock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Some respondents speak to struggling with partners who exhibit sexual desire that they cannot reciprocate because they feel more like parents than partners: \u201cI feel like he\u2019s my child now.\u201d Some describe a partner\u2019s anger when they do not respond in kind. Some explain that a period of uninhibited sexual interest is a phase of the illness and will wane or can be managed with medication.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
![\"Physical](\"https:\/\/img.i-scmp.com\/cdn-cgi\/image\/fit=contain,width=1024,format=auto\/sites\/default\/files\/d8\/images\/canvas\/2026\/08\/21\/3ac40d8b-1960-4888-b669-e8896f359c41_f8528153.jpg\" "\\"Physical")
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