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SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man in his late 40s recently opened up about the emotional weight of being the family\u2019s go-to problem solver, provider, and safety net. Between supporting his elderly parents, being the sole breadwinner at home and occasionally helping relatives through tough times, he says the responsibilities never seem to stop piling up.<\/span><\/p>\n While he considers it a privilege to care for the people he loves, he admitted that constantly being the one others lean on can feel exhausting.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t blame anyone,\u201d he wrote. \u201cThe people around me are generally appreciative. My wife especially. Her understanding, her care, her warmth. Everything about her makes life easier for me. She is still my biggest source of strength and happiness. But, but. Sometimes the responsibilities feel so, so heavy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSometimes it feels like responsibility compounds. The more reliable you are, the more people naturally turn to you when things go wrong. You become the dependable one. The stable one. The person who figures things out. And after a while, you realise that there aren\u2019t many people carrying you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n He then shared that his parents, both in their 70s, don\u2019t really have \u201cmeaningful retirement savings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI cover their expenses and utilities,\u201d he said. \u201cI sometimes feel what I give isn\u2019t enough, but I try to do more whenever I can.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n His wife, he added, has also not worked for years because of her \u201chealth issues,\u201d though he stressed that he has never wanted her to feel pressured to return to work for financial reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cShe hasn\u2019t worked for a long time, and I don\u2019t think she needs to. We can manage on my income, and the last thing I want is for her to feel pressured to return to work because of money,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cShe had been doing relatively well after years of treatment and managing her condition, but recently she had a relapse. Watching someone you love suffer while knowing there is very little you can do about it is a horrible feeling. I would take the pain for her if I could.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n His concerns stretch beyond his own household. Over the years, his wife\u2019s family has dealt with a mix of health problems and financial hardship, including periods when government assistance became necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n They have made it through those difficult chapters, he said, but the worry never completely disappears.<\/span><\/p>\n There are also relatives on his side of the family facing challenges, leaving him with the nagging feeling that if things take a turn for the worse, he may eventually be called upon to help.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNobody is asking me for help today, but I\u2019m realistic enough to know that if things get worse, I\u2019ll probably be one of the people expected to step in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n He added, \u201cWhat worries me is that if something happens to me financially or medically, there are quite a few people whose lives would be affected. Not because I\u2019m rich. Not because I\u2019m important. Just because so many things somehow depend on me continuing to show up every day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The man also admitted that he has not cried or broken down in years because he\u2019s simply been \u201ctoo busy\u201d for it.<\/span><\/p>\n At the end of his post, he wrote, \u201cI\u2019m not writing this for sympathy, because there are people having it worse than me. I know there are families carrying burdens much heavier than mine. I just needed to self-preserve and keep going. The people around me need me. But I need me as well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n In the comments, Singaporean Redditors applauded the man\u2019s dedication to his family and urged him to take better care of himself too.<\/span><\/p>\n One wrote, \u201cI don\u2019t know if this helps, but I salute you. Life can be tough but it can also be beautiful. It seems like you usually can see the beauty but it\u2019s okay once in a while to feel overwhelmed, especially when you need to be the most dependable one in your circle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Another said, \u201cKeep telling yourself to hold on and not to collapse. Look back at how far you\u2019ve come. You are already halfway through your life. Don\u2019t stop now, keep moving forward, and finish the journey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n A few others also suggested that he give himself permission to pause, unwind, and take a break from carrying everyone else\u2019s burdens.<\/span><\/p>\n One commenter told him, \u201cYou are doing your best, and I am so proud of you. I have no advice for you. But whenever life overwhelms me, I take a short break to prioritise myself and reset.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSometimes I take a short solo vacay overseas if I can or do a staycation solo at a hotel here in SG or JB to just relax and take a short respite from family issues\/responsibilities back at home. So maybe you can try that and see if it works for you.\u201d\/TISG<\/span><\/p>\n Read also: <\/span>\u2018They are still working in their 60s\u2019: Singaporean seeks retirement advice for parents<\/u><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\u201cKeep telling yourself to hold on and not to collapse.\u201d<\/span><\/h2>\n