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A few months after I got sober, I decided I needed to run a half-marathon. I was riding the “pink cloud” of recovery, high on life and very enthusiastic about living free and clear of alcohol. The early days of sobriety had been so tough, and I was so thrilled to be beyond them, that it seemed easy to comprehend running 13 miles. <\/p>\n
And run it, I did. I even set a personal record. I remember that day as a cool and crisp October morning full of feelings, with me teary-eyed and triumphant at the finish line. I was the poster child for healthy, sober living. <\/p>\n
Now, 14 years later, I run my daily two and a half miles, and my finish lines are sometimes full of gasps and wheezing. But still, I do it. I have to. It’s part of my recovery.<\/p>\n
Lots of people in recovery embrace a fitness habit when they give up alcohol. There are plenty of reasons for this. We have a new hole in our lives, an absence of drinking needs to be filled, and why not do so with something that sparks dopamine<\/a> and aligns perfectly with our new, healthier path? When I first got sober, I signed up for races all the time because I needed goals<\/a>. I needed to devote hours to a new habit because my calendar was no longer doused in wine, and I had a lot of time on my hands. I needed structure and routine in my life, and this was the perfect way to get there. I got a little obsessive about my times and PRs, perhaps substituting a new addiction<\/a> for my old one, but athletically, so it was OK.<\/p>\n Now, 14 years later, my runs are not half-marathons. They are three-mile jogs around my neighborhood. And they are not as fast. This is due to menopause<\/a>, which seemed to hijack my body, making it tired and wonky. My balance is off on some days. I often start my runs by muttering “Don’t fall” while I maneuver the sidewalks. I also walk intermittently during my runs, which my younger self would think is inexcusable. But these days, I don’t pay much attention<\/a> to my fleetness or PR’s. I don’t even use a watch or wear the latest gear. I run, patiently and methodically, with much less speed and a lot more wheezing. But still, I do it.<\/p>\n My running has transformed. When I first noticed that my times were slowly decreasing, my all-or-nothing, alcoholic<\/a> self struggled. “I should just quit,” I would think. “If I can’t keep improving, what’s the point?” But after ignoring my running shoes for about a month, I realized I missed it. And I vowed to start running again, not for the goal-making or the dopamine hits. I didn’t want to make running a symbol for my sobriety. Instead, this is a daily practice of my sober path. You know why? Because it is really hard. <\/em><\/p>\n There, I said it. Running is hard. It hurts. And there are days when I simply don’t want to do it at all. And yet I still keep coming back, almost every day, because I am proving to myself with each footfall that I am worth it. I am worth the pain of the start and the hope of the finish. And for some crazy reason, despite rainy days or side cramps, I keep doing it, and I keep sober. After 14 years, I keep coming back, one day, and one run at a time.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n A few months after I got sober, I decided I needed to run a half-marathon. I was riding the “pink cloud” of recovery, high on…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":56124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2611],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-buzz-headlines","wpcat-2611-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=56123"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/56123\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/56124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=56123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=56123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=56123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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