SINGAPORE – Mr Jeggan Rajendram once held highly coveted jobs, working for tech giants Google and Meta.<\/p>\n
But since January, his life has taken a markedly different turn. Meetings and work calls with clients have given way to school drop-offs and rollerblading sessions with his daughters.<\/p>\n
Now a full-time stay-at-home dad to his girls, aged two and four, his days begin with getting them ready for school, followed by drop-offs and pick-ups, shower time and preparing light snacks for them.<\/p>\n
Mr Rajendram, 41, is among a growing number of fathers taking up the primary caregiving role in their families.<\/p>\n
Data from the Ministry of Manpower\u2019s annual Labour Force in Singapore reports show that men now make up 7.4 per cent of residents outside the labour force for childcare in 2025, up from 3.5 per cent in 2022.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was good at my job, but it got to a point where I was questioning what I was doing it for,\u201d said Mr Rajendram. \u201cWhile it paid me well, it took up most of my time and my headspace. During this time, my kids are growing up. I felt like I was missing (out).\u201d<\/p>\n
Even on weekends, which were for family, he found it hard to switch off, sometimes turning back to his laptop even when it was not required.<\/p>\n
\u201cI felt like I needed to be more intentional about how I was spending my time and get off autopilot.\u201d<\/p>\n
The decision to step away from his career was not taken lightly.<\/p>\n
His wife, Ms Sumyutha Sivamani, said the couple spent eight months thinking about it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to paint a very unrealistic picture of (how) there were zero concerns… I was very supportive but we talked a lot about the pros and cons,\u201d said the 37-year-old lawyer. \u201cHaving gone through that entire exercise, I felt like it was the right thing for him to do as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Aside from giving up an income, Mr Rajendram also grappled with letting go a key part of his identity.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019ve been working for so long in some pretty good companies, it becomes who you are. So then if you\u2019re not there, who you are sort of becomes a question,\u201d he said, adding that he is still adjusting to the change.<\/p>\n
But the thought of missing out on the golden time period in his young children\u2019s lives cemented his decision to quit.<\/p>\n
Staying home has also brought Mr Rajendram an unexpected benefit: greater control over his time, something he did not have working in big tech.<\/p>\n
In the morning, he attends online Tamil classes to brush up on his mother tongue while his daughters are in pre-school. He also started dabbling in content creation.<\/p>\n
\u201cI started formulating my thoughts into content on Instagram, which I found very therapeutic,\u201d said Mr Rajemdram. \u201cIt gives me time to reflect, think and then put my thoughts into a script and talk through it.\u201d<\/p>\n
In one video, he talks about still being the non-preferred parent despite being the primary caregiver.<\/p>\n Staying home has also brought Mr Rajendram an unexpected benefit: greater control over his time, something he did not have working in big tech.<\/p>\n ST PHOTO: ARIFFIN JAMAR<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n \u201cMy kids will always want their mum for certain things and that\u2019s a really good thing… so it\u2019s not a competition between me and my wife,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Instead, he reframes it as a personal challenge, focusing on how he can grow closer to his children.<\/p>\n Mr Rajendram also spends time refining a curriculum he designed, especially for his older daughter.<\/p>\n On top of helping her with reading, writing and mathematics, he incorporates activities like storytelling and expressing emotions to develop what he calls the \u201cthree Cs\u201d: critical thinking, creative thinking and emotional connection.<\/p>\n He has even taken on skills he previously never had time for, such as learning from the family\u2019s domestic helper how to tie his daughters\u2019 hair.<\/p>\n In April, he hosted a hair-tying workshop for nine other dads at his condominium unit in Telok Blangah, where they engaged an instructor to learn simple hairstyles such as ponytail, single and twin braids, and twin buns.<\/p>\n Buoyed by the response, he has already set a date in late May for a second session with a new group.<\/p>\n Mr Rajendram is among a growing number of fathers taking up the primary caregiving role in their families.<\/p>\n ST PHOTO: ARIFFIN JAMAR<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n While he loves his current life, the arrangement is not without its challenges. He continues to carry some anxieties he felt when he became a stay-home dad.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d love to do this forever… but a small part of me still thinks about the future,\u201d he said, adding that practical considerations mean he cannot step away from work indefinitely.<\/p>\n He intends to eventually return to full-time work, especially as his children grow up and spend less time at home and the value of his presence in the day diminishes.<\/p>\n Ms Sivamani contrasted her husband\u2019s parenting against her own childhood experience.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think my dad has ever even brushed my hair before, you know, it\u2019s unheard of 30 years ago,\u201d she said with a laugh, though she added that this is not a criticism of fathers from her parents\u2019 generation.<\/p>\n \u201cIn the older generation, the fathers always played the role of the financial provider and the mothers always played the role of emotional caregiving and tending to the kids,\u201d she said. \u201cSo I think it\u2019s really wonderful to see fathers really stepping up.\u201d<\/p>\n She believes the arrangement can only benefit their children\u2019s growth.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat we always teach our daughters is that there\u2019s no \u2018boy thing\u2019 or \u2018girl thing\u2019. They can play with cars just as much as boys can play with dolls, and so I think it\u2019s also cool to see fathers do that too.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, they\u2019re the first example for their daughters.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/picture><\/div>
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