{"id":38552,"date":"2026-03-23T09:01:42","date_gmt":"2026-03-23T01:01:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=38552"},"modified":"2026-03-23T09:01:42","modified_gmt":"2026-03-23T01:01:42","slug":"at-just-28-valery-tan-wants-to-change-how-singapore-talks-about-menopause","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=38552","title":{"rendered":"At just 28, Valery Tan wants to change how Singapore talks about menopause"},"content":{"rendered":"


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When the Surety co-founder, Valery Tan, entered the menopause space in her 20s, the assumptions came quickly. What followed was a complex challenge: earning trust across generations through listening rather than lived experience.<\/p>\n

The assumption comes before the introduction. In your 20s, as you step into the menopause conversation, the question comes early and often: What makes you qualified?<\/p>\n

Surety\u2019s co-founder, Valery Tan<\/u><\/a>, has heard it more times than she can count. \u201cYou\u2019re too young.\u201d \u201cYou won\u2019t get it.\u201d Early on, she responded by over-explaining: her intentions, her research, her story, her why.<\/p>\n

After a while, she caught herself thinking, \u201cWhat for?\u201d Because even if you answer perfectly, some people will still decide who you are before you speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cI learned to keep my response human and light, not defensive,\u201d the 28-year-old says. If someone questions her understanding, she\u2019ll acknowledge plainly that her lived experience is different, then reframe what she is committing to: listening closely, building with the people living it, and creating a space that\u2019s culturally relevant and safe.<\/p>\n

Earning authority differently<\/h2>\n

But credibility, she realised, was never the real starting point. It was something more personal and unresolved: How do I create a space where midlife conversations can exist without shame, confusion, or isolation, and where people actually know what to do next?<\/p>\n

She was an only child, in university, exploring entrepreneurship, when she suddenly noticed her mother\u2019s changes affecting her mood, their relationship, and the texture of daily life at home.<\/p>\n

Tan had no words for what was happening. \u201cI remember feeling lost, mentally drained, and honestly scared,\u201d she says. \u201cNot just for her, but because I realised how unprepared families can be when this happens.\u201d<\/p>\n

That sense of disorientation pushed her to start looking outward. In her attempt to understand what was happening with her mother, Tan found that most resources were Western and didn\u2019t always reflect how Asian families speak, cope, or stay silent. \u201cThat disconnect made me want to build something culturally relevant,\u201d she says. \u201cNot in a theoretical way, but in a practical, day-to-day way that women here could actually relate to.\u201d<\/p>\n

That gap would become the foundation of Surety. But getting there required something that frameworks and strategy decks couldn\u2019t provide.<\/p>\n

Frameworks help you organise decisions, Tan learned. Listening tells you what is truly needed. As she began speaking with women, she noticed something unexpected. Many weren\u2019t asking for a solution first. They were asking for language and a safe space to understand not only themselves but others as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey wanted someone to take them seriously, not dismiss symptoms as \u2018just stress\u2019 or \u2018just ageing\u2019,\u201d Tan says.<\/p>\n

As Surety started building community spaces like Pause & Sip<\/u><\/a>, Tan watched how quickly \u201cI thought I was the only one\u201d turned into \u201cI finally feel normal\u201d when women were given psychological safety, not just information. \u201cThat kind of insight can\u2019t be downloaded,\u201d she says. \u201cYou earn it by showing up, holding space, and letting people lead you to what matters.\u201d<\/p>\n