{"id":34989,"date":"2026-03-10T01:11:51","date_gmt":"2026-03-09T17:11:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=34989"},"modified":"2026-03-10T01:11:51","modified_gmt":"2026-03-09T17:11:51","slug":"divorced-mother-and-her-son-coping-with-grief-among-families-who-sought-free-counselling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sgbuzz.com\/?p=34989","title":{"rendered":"Divorced mother and her son coping with grief among families who sought free counselling"},"content":{"rendered":"


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SINGAPORE – A year after her divorce, Madam Kay (not her real name) noticed her six-year-old son would suddenly burst into tears at school, and even when he was with friends.<\/p>\n

Frustrated, she scolded him, but his behaviour persisted. It was only after she brought him for counselling that she realised he was struggling to cope with his parents\u2019 divorce.<\/p>\n

Madam Kay, 55, said Hakeem (not his real name) had blamed himself for his father\u2019s absence, feeling that he had a part to play in the split.<\/p>\n

When he broke down one day again, she chose to hug him instead.<\/p>\n

His tantrums soon decreased as he grew more reassured in her presence, said Madam Kay in an interview with The Straits Times on March 6.<\/p>\n

They are among thousands who have received free counselling under the Strengthening Families Programme (FAM), which will soon be expanded to serve more families.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Set up in 2021<\/p>\n

<\/a>,\u00a0FAM supports families with marriage, parenting and other relationship issues through counselling offered at 11 centres across Singapore.<\/p>\n

Families can book face-to-face or online sessions with FAM centres\u00a0<\/p>\n

via the Family Assist portal.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli said during the debate on his ministry\u2019s budget on March 5 that FAM centres will <\/p>\n

support up to 12,000 cases by 2030<\/p>\n

<\/a>, double the caseload in 2025.<\/p>\n

This is to address a rise in demand for family counselling as the number of cases seen by FAM grew from 4,800 in 2023 to 5,700 in 2025.<\/p>\n

Of the cases in 2025, the Ministry of Social and Family Development said 85 per cent involved marital and divorce issues, while the remainder largely concerned parenting and other family conflicts.<\/p>\n

FAM counsellors told ST that the rise in cases reflects growing awareness of counselling services. Their clients include married couples, divorced individuals and those who struggle with parenting.<\/p>\n

More are also seeking help early before problems escalate.<\/p>\n

Madam Kay\u2019s counsellor Nur Azmira said: \u201cWe see more people who are able to pick up some strains in the relationship and want to get help.\u201d <\/p>\n

In 2023, Madam Kay brought Hakeem for counselling at the PPIS As-Salaam Family Support Centre in Chai Chee after discovering their services online. She was surprised it was free.<\/p>\n

Non-profit organisation PPIS converted the space \u2013 which specialised in providing support services for divorcing and divorced couples and their children \u2013 <\/p>\n

to a FAM centre in April 2025<\/p>\n

<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Counsellors saw Hakeem and Madam Kay separately. Through her sessions, Madam Kay realised she had been overloading her schedule in an attempt to move on with life.<\/p>\n

She learnt how to take breaks and take turns with her son to ask each other \u201chow are you\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201c(What helped was) being aware that I\u2019m not going through this myself. Whatever I am feeling, he is also feeling,\u201d she said, adding that they completed about nine sessions over two years.<\/p>\n

Mr Jeremy, 51, and Ms Cai, 40, who did not want to reveal their full names, sought FAM counselling in their first year of marriage in 2024. The pair, who had dated for nine years, had frequent arguments which ended in icy silence for weeks.<\/p>\n

Mr Jeremy, an IT consultant, initially felt uncomfortable about sharing his marital woes with a stranger, but eventually went ahead as both he and his wife wanted a healthier way of resolving conflicts.<\/p>\n

Through individual and couple sessions, Ms Cai, an HR professional, learnt to see more from her husband\u2019s point of view, while Mr Jeremy developed greater self-worth and learnt to set boundaries.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe respect each other for who we are (though) we may not always agree with what each other wants to do,\u201d said Mr Jeremy, adding that they now make an effort to talk through conflicts.<\/p>\n

They have attended 15 sessions at Thye Hua Kwan Moral Charities\u2019 Commonwealth FAM centre since August 2024, and are still being counselled.<\/p>\n

Encouraging other couples to seek help early, Ms Cai likened counselling to checking the \u201chealth status\u201d of a marriage before tensions escalate.<\/p>\n

Ms Debbyrina de Thomas, a FAM counsellor with Fei Yue Community Services, said some turn to tools such as social media and artificial intelligence chatbots for \u201cquick fixes\u201d to their relationship issues, but are still confused about what to do.<\/p>\n

\u201cCounselling is supposed to offer something different \u2013 a steady, personalised space where your situation is understood in context without oversimplified answers,\u201d said Ms Debbyrina.<\/p>\n

These sessions also empower individuals, such as one of her clients who learnt to make decisions on her own after divorcing her husband of 15 years who had dictated their relationship.<\/p>\n

She also learnt how to set boundaries including not allowing her former spouse to enter her home.<\/p>\n

Ms Debbyrina said: \u201cThe client realised that she has a stronger sense of self and resilience… she was able to tell me \u2018I think I\u2019m ready now to face whatever comes\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Madam Kay, counselling does not mean being judged for doing something wrong; it is more like untangling a bundle of ropes with someone else.<\/p>\n

She thanked Ms Azmira with a teary-eyed hug at the end of the interview.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have healed from the safe space she gave me. Because of that, my son and I are in a better place.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n


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