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SINGAPORE: A manager has turned to the internet for advice after a workplace lunch arrangement spiralled into an HR issue, when a Malay employee complained that she felt excluded because her four Chinese colleagues regularly went for meals without her.<\/span><\/p>\n Posting on the r\/askSingapore Reddit forum on Monday (Dec 15), the manager said he had more or less tried everything within reason to deal with the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n When the employee first approached him about feeling \u201cleft out,\u201d he started rotating lunch companions among the team, occasionally opted to eat alone just to avoid any misunderstandings, and made sure the team went out for a meal together at least once every quarter.<\/span><\/p>\n He also spoke to the Chinese colleagues involved, who assured him there was no deliberate exclusion.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI spoke to the Chinese members, and they said they\u2019re not excluding her intentionally. They just don\u2019t want to eat Malay food,\u201d he wrote. \u201cThe Malay colleague [apparently] prefers Malay-style restaurants or restaurants that sell only Malay food. Nasi padang, Mee rebus, nasi lemak, etc.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Despite these efforts, he said the Malay employee still escalated the matter to HR. \u201cHR spoke to me, and I told them that lunch is personal time and I can\u2019t force people to eat together. At work and in meetings, I\u2019ve already made English mandatory, and there are no communication issues professionally,\u201d he wrote.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI understand the Malay colleague feels left out, but even the Chinese colleagues don\u2019t always eat together. Sometimes, 2 went to eat at different places because they have their own \u2018cravings.\u2019 I think everyone has to put in a bit of effort if they want to have lunch together or compromise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The manager added that HR had indicated there was little more they could realistically do and that the employee had hinted she might resign from the company.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe Malay colleague hinted at leaving. I mean, her work is fine, and I can\u2019t force a social relationship. The worst-case scenario is she resigns.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Uncertain about how to resolve the issue, the manager turned to Reddit for advice, writing, \u201cWhat would you do? Any food recommendations near Tanjong Pagar?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The post quickly gained traction, racking up more than 700 upvotes.<\/span><\/p>\n In the comments, many Redditors slammed the Malay employee for making a mountain out of a molehill.<\/span><\/p>\n One commenter wrote, \u201cMalay here. I think escalating this to HR is taking it too far. Lunch is indeed personal time and not meant to be a team outing every single day. Definitely do a team lunch once in a while, but she cannot expect it every single time. Jeez. She can also tapau her own food and join you guys when you lunch in shared spaces.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Another said, \u201cYou can\u2019t force adults to eat together; complaining to HR is ridiculous. Lunch is a private time, and if employees want to exclude others, that\u2019s their prerogative.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Others, however, were more sympathetic towards the Malay employee, pointing out that being consistently left out in a small team could take an emotional toll.<\/span><\/p>\n One explained, \u201cIt may seem trivial, but in a team of just 5 people, if you\u2019re the only one who\u2019s left out from socialising, it\u2019s not a great feeling. It\u2019s bound to spill over into work as well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Some also suggested practical compromises, such as eating at hawker centres where everyone could find something suitable. One said, \u201cHawker has so many options \u2014 Malay, Chinese, Western, etc. Where are your team members eating their lunch? Every day eat non-Malay restaurants?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n They added, \u201cYou are right that you cannot force people to eat lunch together, but it seems like your Chinese team members don\u2019t want to make an effort to make the only one Malay member feel included. Don\u2019t they like her? Because it\u2019s not hard to come out with a solution like going to hawkers or Taobao food to eat together?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n In other news, a Singaporean family is facing financial uncertainty after the father, who is over 50 and the household\u2019s main breadwinner, was retrenched from his job as part of a company-wide layoff affecting more than 100 employees.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n On Saturday (Dec 13), his son took to Reddit to vent, writing, \u201cHonestly, this came as a huge shock to me, and I\u2019m still in a daze since I got the news a few days ago.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Read more: <\/span>Son anxious about family\u2019s financial situation after father is retrenched, says his age may make finding another job difficult<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\u201cComplaining to HR is ridiculous.\u201d<\/h2>\n