\n<\/p>\n
About a decade ago, I had a meeting with some folks from the Ministry of Defence for a possible TV project, and I enquired about the possibility of doing Basic Military Training (BMT).<\/p>\n
I think they’re still laughing.<\/p>\n
I was a proud Singapore permanent resident, but I’d already passed the cut-off date to do my bit for my adopted homeland.<\/p>\n
My ego was suitably pricked.<\/p>\n
Apart from a torn rotator cuff, a chronic knee injury and plantar fasciitis in my right foot, I was fighting fit.<\/p>\n
All right, I wasn’t fighting fit.<\/p>\n
An enemy wouldn’t need a machine gun.<\/p>\n
A staircase would take me out.<\/p>\n
But I wanted that BMT badge of honour to defend myself against the oldest male criticism in Singapore, because, man, I feel like a woman here. It doesn’t matter what I contribute to the country, the retort is always the same.<\/p>\n
I wrote many books that championed Singapore?<\/i><\/span> And I get it.<\/p>\n I really do.<\/p>\n In my late teens, I spent my time in East London bars chasing women. Singaporean men of the same age spent their time in forests chasing snakes. Honestly, they had more success with the snakes.<\/p>\n National Service is not just young men, in matching attire, battling imagined enemies. If it was, then West Ham and Tottenham supporters would fulfil the criteria.<\/p>\n NS is a priceless commitment to our national security. It’s a unique bonding experience among bands of brothers. It’s a lifelong opportunity to remind anyone who didn’t do NS \u2013 that they didn’t do NS.<\/p>\n Personally, I’d go even further and have that reminder written into traditional marriage vows, so men can say\u2026 “I, Private Bridegroom, take this woman, who never did NS, to be my lawful-wedded wife, even though she never did NS. And from this day forward, in sickness and in health, I will love and cherish my grey army vest.”<\/p>\n Of course, Singaporean women have done their national service. They turned cubs into lions and packed them off to Tekong. They maintained households while sons and husbands were away. The men did nine weeks of BMT to deliver a half decent soldier? The women did nine months to deliver the soldier in the first place. They’ve done enough for the nation.<\/p>\n
<\/span>Ah, never do NS.<\/i><\/span>
<\/span>I encourage schoolchildren to read?<\/i><\/span>
<\/span>Ah, never do NS.<\/i><\/span>
<\/span>I support Singapore over Japan and China?<\/i><\/span>
<\/span>Ah, never do NS.<\/i><\/span>
<\/span>I cured cancer, scrapped COE and turned 38 Oxley Road into a sports bar?<\/i><\/span>
<\/span>Ah, never do NS. (Though I might get a pass for the COE.)<\/i><\/span><\/p>\nThen came Women’s Boot Camp \u2014 and the trolls arrived<\/h3>\n